My Cat...................Is she trying to kill me???

How to Tell if Your Cat is Trying to Kill You!!

1. Kneading on you.
You may think this is a sign of affection, but your cat is actually checking your internal organs for weaknesses.
2. Excessive Shoveling of Kitty Litter.
After using the litter box, your cat needlessly kicks litter around, most of it ending up all over the room. (THIS IS PRACTICE FOR BURYING THE BODIES!!!!)
3. Staring Contests.
If you get caught in a staring contest with your cat, DO NOT look away. Looking away will signal to your cat that you are weak, and an attack is likely to follow.
4. Throwing Up Grass.
Through this painful feeding and purging process, cats prepare their minds and bodies for combat.
5. Hiding in Dark Places and Watching You.
Your cat will often hide in order to study you in your natural habitat.
6. Sleeping on Your electronics.
Humans have superior technology. Your cat knows this and will attempt to disrupt all communications to the outside world.
7. Pawing at Your Face While You Sleep.
Cats aren't very good at smothering people, but this won't stop them from trying.
8. Sprinting at Light Speed Out of any Room You Enter.
When your cat does this, it's actually a failed ambush.

Watch for these signs and be afraid, very afraid!!!!!!